Interlude 5: Friends in Strange Places
by Interlude2005
Summary: Sam finds she has a friend in a very strange place.


Title: Interlude #5: Friends in Strange Places

Author/Email: Jo. R 13+

Category: Sam/Jack, Sam/other (kind of), mild angst, mild humour.

Spoilers: 'Emancipation', 'New Order', 'It's Good to Be King'.

Season/Sequel: Set between seasons eight and nine, 5th in the Interlude Series co-written with Fairygnomes and Ruth M. King.

Archive: The Interlude Site, Random Ramblings, SJD.

Summary: Sam finds out she has a friend in a particularly strange place.

Disclaimer: They're not mine, never have been and never will be. Ever.

Author's Notes: Weird with a capital 'W'.

* * *

Aching head.. check.

Heavy, churning stomach.. check.

Head worse when eyes opened to the bright sunlight.. check.

No. Wait.

Sunlight?

With a groan, Sam opened her eyes.

Sunlight. Check. Complete with blue skies and white fluffy clouds including one that looked like the wrench Siler always carried with him if she squinted just enough through one eye..

'Getting carried away there, Carter,' she chided herself, moving into an upright position, squinting as she looked around. 'What the hell..?'

She was in a field, a big grassy field.

She was pretty damn sure she'd hadn't gone to sleep in a big grassy field. Had she been drinking? Passed out somewhere? Was she off world or on..?

Sam squeezed her eyes shut and tried to remember the events leading up to her waking up in a field.

Nothing.

Couldn't remember a thing.

No, that was a lie. She remembered shutting down her laptop and the experiments she was running in her lab, after a phone call from General O'Neill who was checking up on her on his way back to Colorado from Washington.

She remembered saying goodnight to the SF's at the checkpoint on her way out, walking across the lot to her car.. That was where it started getting fuzzy.

There was a noise or a voice - something unusual anyway - and she'd hesitated before getting into her car. Then there was someone behind her and another voice, a shout, maybe from one of the SF's and then.. nothing.

Not a thing.

Just waking up to the sounds of birds singing, the sun beating down on her, wondering where the hell she was and how she'd come to be there.

She opened her eyes with a start when she heard something behind her and twisted uncomfortably to see what it was.

Bushes.

Great.

Her hand reached for her sidearm but encountered only a denim-covered thigh. Oh, right. She'd changed before leaving the SGC. Damn.

"Colonel Carter!"

The voice was familiar, as was the woman who rushed out of the trees towards her.

Sam blinked as she got the answer to one of her questions. So she wasn't on Earth. Okay. She could work with that.

"Garen. Hi."

"Greetings." Garen looked around, a small frown arranging her features as Sam gingerly got to her feet, swaying slightly. "Are not Daniel Jackson and Teal'c with you? Or your General O'Neill?"

"Ah.. No." Lifting a hand to her head, Sam encountered something dry and flaky. Mud, she thought, surprised to pull her hand back and find it was dry blood. "I don't think they're here."

"You do not think so but you are not sure?" The frown deepened and Garen stared at her – a little suspiciously, Sam thought. "Are you well, Colonel Carter? You have been injured.."

Sam bit back a sarcastic response, thinking to herself that the woman had really answered her own question but instead pasted a smile on her face. "I'm fine, just a little.. confused. Is Maybourne – ah – King Arkhan around here somewhere?"

"Harry is back at the village." Garen smiled, her expression losing some of it's harshness as her face lit up at the mention of the former Colonel. Sam found herself wondering then if Garen had been one of Maybourne's wives when SG-1 had last visited the planet or if it was a new development that had happened since. She stopped those thoughts abruptly when they started heading in a direction she really really didn't want them to go in. "He will be pleased to see you, Colonel Carter. Come."

Garen turned and walked off back through the bushes and trees, leaving Sam with very little choice but to follow.

* * *

"So you just woke up here?"

"Yes."

"And you don't know how you got here?"

"No."

"Hmm."

"Hmm?"

Maybourne gave her a look that could have been a glare but chose not to notice it. She crossed her arms over her chest, scowled at the woman – one of his wives, one who's name she didn't know because Maybourne hadn't introduced them – who was currently tending to the visible injuries she had. Sam half suspected they hadn't been introduced because the former Colonel couldn't remember himself but then he had, what, eight at last count, so it was only understandable he got confused.

Or something like that.

"Look, I just want your help getting back to the SGC. You have an IDC, right? Just let me borrow it so I can get home and I'll be out of your wa—ow." Sam broke off to glare at the well-meaning woman, wincing as the woman continued examining the newly discovered bump hidden by her hair. "You can stop doing that, I'm fine."

"She just wants to make sure you're okay, Colonel, relax." If the comment hadn't been accompanied by a condescending smile, Sam might have believed him. "I'll take the IDC and send a message to Stargate Command. I'm sure they'll send someone through for you. Maybe even Jack himself."

The smile grew as Sam's glare intensified.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking to the Stargate and going through it."

"I beg to differ, Colonel." Maybourne's expression hardened but not before she saw something akin to concern – surely not! – flicker in his eyes. "You arrive here unannounced by undetermined means looking like you've had a few rounds in a ring with Teal'c and admit you don't remember how you got here. Until we know more about how you got here and why, I forbid you from leaving the palace." He motioned to the woman fussing over her. "Show her to her room and make sure there's nothing seriously wrong."

"Of course, my king." The woman bowed to him, failing to notice the scowl on Sam's face as she took her – quite forcefully – by the arm and led her away.

Maybourne lingered in his seat – his throne – for a few moments. He wondered briefly if the NID had anything to do with her state – wondered if she'd be so keen to return to the SGC once she caught sight of her reflection and saw the yellow and purple tinged skin. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw Garen staring at him in concern.

"We have to send a message to the SGC, let them know she's here and she's alright."

"They will want to come for her and return her to her world."

"Not if she's still in danger there. I know Jack, he'd rather keep her here where she's out of trouble than put her back into it."

"Colonel Carter will not agree to it. She was most insistent that she be allowed to return home."

"She doesn't have a choice. Garen, I need you to stay here. Stay with her." He rose from his chair, crossed the room and touched her cheek gently. "You'll have to keep her away from the Stargate or alert me if she attempts to use it without permission."

"I will do as you wish, my lord."

She would, he knew, but she wouldn't be happy about it. Garen, unlike his other wives, was fiercely passionate about her right to do as she chose. A feminist on a world where there were few, unlike the world he had originated from. She was, he mused as he made his way to the Stargate, a lot like Colonel Carter in that respect.

* * *

"Hello Jack."

"Maybourne. What an unpleasant surprise."

"Now, now, Jack, don't be like that. I have good news for you."

"Yeah? Well make it quick, I have a situation to deal with here."

"Oh, I know." If it hadn't been for the edge in Jack's voice, Maybourne might have been tempted to draw out the conversation a little longer. Of all the things he missed about Earth, baiting Jack O'Neill was somewhere in the top three. "I assume it concerns Colonel Carter. You don't need to worry, Jack, she's quite safe."

"Carter.. Carter's there?"

"Yes, Jack."

"With you?"

"Well, no. She's in the village. Probably thinking of various ways to hurt me, I imagine, because I wouldn't let her come and talk to you herself."

"How did Carter get there?"

"I was hoping you'd be able to shed some light on the matter. Colonel Carter can't remember."

"How is she, Harry?"

"Battered and bruised but otherwise okay." Maybourne paused, waiting for an answer, and continued when none was forthcoming. "Do we have to continue this conversation or are you going to come through the Stargate?"

"You're not sending Carter back?"

"Is it safe?"

"I don't know." The answer was torn from his lips on a sigh. "Okay, wait by the 'gate. We'll be through soon. Do I need to bring a med team?"

"No. One of my wives is taking care of the situation. See you soon, Jack. Over and out."

Maybourne only had to wait ten minutes for the Stargate to re-engage. He stood at the bottom of the stone steps as first Teal'c, then Daniel and lastly Jack walked through it.

"Welcome, once again, to my humble home." He couldn't resist the greeting, his grin growing as the three men approached, each looking around for their missing teammate. "If you'll follow me, I'll take you to Colonel Carter." He threw a sidelong glance in Jack's direction. "You can tell me what happened on the way."

"If we knew, we could." Daniel fell into step with Teal'c behind Jack and Maybourne. "Sam was attacked walking to her car two days ago."

"Two days ago?" Maybourne stopped so suddenly they almost walked up the back of him. "She was under the impression it was only yesterday."

"No, it was two days ago. The SF's at the security checkpoint heard something and went out to investigate. They saw Carter being attacked by two former SGC employees and raised the alarm. They said they were on their way to intervene when something happened."

"Something?"

"Yeah. They can't remember what. They woke up in the infirmary a few hours later. There was no sign of Carter or the people attacking her."

"If Colonel Carter was somehow transported here is it not possible that the same could be said of her assailants?"

"I'll have my people search the surrounding area but I doubt they're here. It sounds like whoever or whatever was responsible for it was trying to protect her." Maybourne motioned to one of the guards who had accompanied him to the Stargate. "Get two teams together and search the forests and fields. If you find anyone who doesn't belong, treat them with suspicion and bring them to me."

The guard inclined his head and left to carry out the orders.

Maybourne turned back to the newcomers and continued on, slowing at the speculative glance thrown in his direction. "What?"

"I thought you were going to give the king thing a rest, Harry." Jack shrugged casually, a hand resting on the butt of his P90. He quickened the pace, thinking of Maybourne's description of Carter.

Thinking of the possibility that Teal'c's theory might be right.

"They didn't like that idea. What can a king do but give his people what they want?"

* * *

"I was quite happy in my own clothes so if you'd just give them back.."

"They have been sent for cleaning. Do not worry, Colonel Carter, you can borrow anything of mine for the duration of your stay with us."

Sam glanced down at what she was wearing, a kind of peasant dress that did absolutely nothing for her figure in her opinion, and once again wished for her jeans. She appreciated the woman's offer but would've preferred the dirty, ripped-in-places jeans she'd had on prior to the bath the woman – Alaina – insisted she have.

"I appreciate that but I would really feel more comfortable in my own clothes."

'And there's no way in hell I'm going back to the SGC in this dress,' she added mentally. What it lacked in terms of figure fitting style around her waist and hips it certainly made up for in terms of the neckline that was a little too low for comfort – and way, way too low for the SGC. She had nightgowns that were less revealing – even the ones where revealing was the point.

"Your clothes will be returned to you when they have been repaired." Alaina threw her a look that had the protest dying on her lips. "King Arkhan has returned from the Stargate and wishes you to join him for your midday meal."

"Like this?" Sam glanced down at herself and back up at Alaina sceptically. "I really don't think that's a good idea. Look, if you just give me my clothes, I'll get out of the way, okay? I don't want to put May-King Arkhan out anymore than I have. I just want to go home."

"I'm afraid that is not possible, Colonel Carter. Sam." Garen appeared in the doorway to the room – much to Alaina's relief, Sam was sure. "Alaina, you may go and prepare yourself for the meal. King Arkhan has asked that his wives join him, too."

'Great. Lunch with Maybourne and his harem. Maybe he wants me to join it.' Sam shuddered at the thought and turned her attention back to Garen. "Garen, please. I know he's probably told you not to let me out of your sight but I'm fine. Like I said to Alaina, I just want to go back to my world. My friends will be worried about me.."

"I understand your desire to return to your people, Sam, but King Arkhan has forbidden it for your own safety." Garen's expression softened slightly. "Come. He does not like being kept waiting."

Sam scowled but started to follow the other woman out of the room. She glanced at the outfit Garen was wearing, glanced back at her newly discovered cleavage and sighed to herself. At least, she told the shallow side of her brain, there was no one from the SGC there to add to her embarrassment at being made to wear yet another dress she wouldn't usually be caught dead in.

At least there'd be no teasing this time round, no jokes at her expense.

It wasn't until she followed Garen into the room that would serve as their dining room that she realised she was wrong.

* * *

"Carter." Jack arched an eyebrow. "You're looking.. well, considering the circumstances."

"Sir? Daniel. Teal'c." Sam crossed her arms over her chest one way, decided it wasn't helping and crossed them the other way, her cheeks flaming. "Maybourne."

"Surprise." The King in question grinned at her from the top of the table. "Pull up a chair and dig in. You must be hungry, Colonel, you haven't eaten in two days."

"Two days?" Doing her absolute best to ignore the looks she could feel aimed at her, Sam sank into the chair Maybourne motioned to. "What are you talking about, Maybourne?"

"You disappeared two days ago, Sam. Outside the SGC." Daniel took the chair opposite her, the look that had been in his eye fading to one of concern. "Maybourne said you remembered being attacked?"

"Yeah but that was just last night." She waited for someone to agree. No one did. "It wasn't last night, was it?"

"It was not. You have been missing for over forty-eight hours, Colonel Carter. Do you not recall where you have been?"

"No. No, I don't." Her appetite, what little of it there was, disappeared instantly. She looked up, her brow furrowed. "Please tell me I haven't spent two days lying in a field in the middle of nowhere."

"You haven't. You were not there yesterday or the day before." Garen answered with what she thought was a reassuring smile. "I often walk that way. I would have noticed if you were there."

"Well, I guess that's something." Sam sighed softly and forced herself to meet the General's gaze. Forced herself not to notice the way his gaze lingered a little south of her face before snapping up to her eyes when he realised she was looking at him. "Were there any witnesses? Anyone who might know what happened to me? Who might know who was behind it?"

"The only people who know that disappeared with you. According to the SF's, one minute you were there fighting with them, the next minute they were waking up to find the back up they called wondering what was going on." Jack stared at her intently and she just knew he was making a mental inventory of the cuts and bruises on her face. "From what they said I was expecting a lot worse."

"From what I remember there should be." Bits and pieces of it were coming back to her. Like the knife in her back – literally – and the shock she'd felt when the blade pierced her skin. "Were they able to identify who the attackers were?"

"Do the names Tarrant and Brooks sound familiar?"

Sam frowned in concentration, trying to conjure up faces to match the names. "I know the names but I can't place them."

"Neither could we until we contacted Hammond. Apparently Tarrant and Brooks were both stationed at the SGC for a while a few years back. They were split up and reassigned for breaking the regs. The frat regs."

A knowing look was shared by more than just the two officers.

"I don't remember that."

"You wouldn't. General Hammond was very.. discreet.. about it. But apparently not discreet enough. Tarrant and Brooks thought they'd been wronged and made no secret that they wanted to get back at the SGC somehow."

"And to do that they thought, what, they'd beat the crap out of me? That doesn't make any sense."

"No, it doesn't," Jack agreed, shooting Daniel a look before he could start theorising. He already had his own theory and it wasn't one he wanted to share with a room full of people. "That's why we need to find them. Why you need to remember what happened after you were attacked."

"I was beaten up and stabbed from behind. Then I woke up in a field here. That's all I remember, and I didn't even remember being stabbed until half an hour ago when I noticed a scar that wasn't there before." She looked down at the plate someone – another one of Maybourne's wives – put down in front of her and felt her stomach turn over.

She remembered the smell of blood, remembered the taste of it in her mouth.

Remembered the realisation sinking in that it was finally happening, that she was dying. The small burst of anger that it was happening in the parking lot of the SGC for no reason she could think of.

For no cause.

She pushed the place away and stood up abruptly, aware the blood had drained from her face. Felt it drain from her head as a wave of dizziness washed over her. "Excuse me, I'm not hungry anymore."

She followed the same route Garen had used to lead her to the dining room, finding her way back to what she assumed was 'her' room for the duration of her time there. The door had barely closed behind her when it opened again.

"Carter?"

"I need a minute."

'Liar,' she thought to herself, 'you need a lot more than that.'

"Sam."

It was the tone of voice that did it. The quieter, gentle tone he only used when one of them was hurting or injured or both. The one he'd used a few times on the dates they'd shared over the weeks since they'd decided to try and take their relationship further.

"I'm okay." She wasn't, though. She remembered it more vividly than she had before. Remembered the sound of the knife slicing through her skin, the sound of it being pulled out.

Remembered thinking about Cassandra, about Daniel, about Teal'c..

About Jack.

"You might be but I'm not." His voice rumbled somewhere behind her, his arms moving so his hands rested on her hips and he turned her gently. Looked down on her with solemn eyes. "You were gone and all we found was your blood. A lot of blood. Doctor Brightman said we had to prepare ourselves for the worst, that there was no way you could've survived."

"I did." She pushed her own thoughts to the back of her mind and reached up to touch his cheek. It felt odd, to be able to do that and know that although it felt wrong, it wasn't forbidden. That if they had their way they'd be able to do a lot more than share the occasional kiss in the not-too-distant future. "I don't know how but I'm alive. I'm here. I'd really prefer not to be here but I am and I'm okay. I'm sorry that you were worried."

"Not your fault." He lowered his face, his lips brushing her forehead softly. "Just don't go disappearing on me again, okay?"

"I'll try not to, I promise."

"See that you keep that promise, Carter. I'm getting too old for this." He tightened his arms around her briefly and then stepped back, letting his arms fall to his sides as procedure and his promise to the President to keep their personal relationship away from their professional one dictated. "Is there nothing else you remember? Nothing that could tell us where you've been? How you're, well, alive?"

She walked away slowly, her brow furrowed in concentration. She sat on the edge of the feather mattress on her bed and closed her eyes, trying to remember.

Heard a voice telling her it was going to be okay, that 'he' was there.

But that was impossible. 'He' was standing in front of her with a worried look in his eyes, waiting patiently for an answer, gaze fixed on her as if he was worried she'd disappear again.

"I remember hearing you. But it wasn't you. Couldn't have been you."

He frowned and moved to sit beside her, keeping just enough distance between them to maintain a respectable appearance but occasionally letting his fingers brush against her hands where they were clasped in her lap. "Could it have been me from an alternate reality? Maybe a replicator me?"

"If it was a replicator, I probably wouldn't be here. I'd be dead or being tortured to death. And I don't think it was an alternate reality you. I don't know how it could be." She sighed and shook her head. "I probably imagined it. Heard what I wanted to hear. Maybe the Nox were involved somehow, we've seen them bring people back from the dead before. But that wouldn't explain why they were orbiting Earth in the first place or why they left me here."

"We'll figure it out. Don't get yourself worked up about it."

"Pretty hard to do considering how worked up you were a few minutes ago." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "So what's your theory on why Tarrant and Brooks came after me? And don't tell me you don't have one, I know you. I saw the look you shot Daniel, you just didn't want him saying it in front of Maybourne."

He shrugged and looked away. "My theory is they took the rumours going around about us a little too seriously. Maybe they thought we got away with breaking regs and they didn't because we were Hammond's favourites. According to what I was able to find out about them, they tried bringing us into it when Hammond told them they were being transferred from the SGC and they were getting a reprimand in their files. And then we were both promoted, which wouldn't have helped."

"You think they planned it? Singled me out deliberately to make some kind of statement?"

"I don't think they meant to hurt you so badly. I think their plan was to initially abduct you, maybe put in a call demanding to be reinstated to the SGC in exchange for your safe return. They probably panicked when you fought back, when you alerted the SF's."

She shuddered. Couldn't help it. Felt the knife in her back again and automatically moved a hand to where the fresh scar was. "I'd feel better knowing where they were."

"Me too. Maybourne's got people scouting the surrounding area. If they were left here, too, we'll find them."

"Good." She nodded and sighed. Glanced at him and caught the direction of his gaze, following it and blushing to her roots. "Maybe while they're at it, someone can find me my clothes. This.. really isn't me."

"I don't know, Carter. Kinda works for me." The lopsided grin broke through the serious expression and made her automatically smile in return, even though she did cross her arms across her chest when he stood, releasing her hand. "I'll chase up your stuff but maybe you could keep the dress?"

"I've already got the Shavedi dress in my closet. I don't think there's room for another alien outfit in there."

He stopped mid-way to the door. Turned back to her with a hand clasped over his chest. "You still have it?"

"Uh-huh. They wouldn't take it back. It was my thanks for saving Nya. I didn't have the heart to tell them I didn't want it."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it."

"I'm glad you're glad. Now please go get me my clothes?"

"What? Oh yeah. I'm going. I'm gone. I'm not even here."

She chuckled when the door shut behind him, picturing his dazed look in her mind and forced it to stay there in place of the memories threatening to replace it.

* * *

She felt more human in her jeans and shirt. More alive, despite the hole in the back of the shirt where the blade had gone through.

At least they were clean, having been scrubbed by one of Maybourne's wives until the blood was gone.

She rejoined the group in the dining room, apologising quietly to Garen and Alaina for leaving so suddenly. She noticed all of the plates but hers and Jack's had been cleared but still made no effort to do more than shuffle the food around on her plate as she listened to the others talk.

Her wandering attention returning to the various conversations going on – Jack and Maybourne, Daniel and Garen, Alaina and some of the other women – when she heard her name whispered by one of the women she didn't know. Heard her ask Alaina if King Arkhan was considering adding another to their midst.

She arched an eyebrow, glanced at where the king in question was sitting. He actually flushed but carried on his conversation as if he hadn't heard it. Jack, on the other hand, looked her way and winked.

"King Arkhan." One of the guards Maybourne had sent searching reappeared, his face grim. "We believe we may have found one of the strangers you seek."

"Male or female?"

"Female," the guard answered Jack, looking quickly to his leader for confirmation that it was okay to do so. "We have her restrained and in the courtyard awaiting your decision as to what to do with her. She is confused as to how she came to be here and has asked that we help her find someone she referred to as Jeffery."

"Jeffery Tarrant," Daniel murmured. "It's got to be Brooks."

"Let's find out what she knows. Harry?"

"It'll be more intimidating if we question her outside in front of everybody."

"Good plan." Jack pushed his chair back and motioned for the members of SG-1 to join him. "Let's go, campers."

Sam took a deep breath and stood, once again pushing the plate away from her. She got two steps away from the table, heard the scraping sound of someone's chair against the floor as one of Maybourne's wives got up to follow them.

Then the room was gone and she found herself somewhere else entirely.

* * *

"Thor?"

Jack stopped abruptly. Garen, who had moved to follow them, froze as Sam disappeared in a flash of bright white light, replaced instead by the little grey alien.

"O'Neill." Thor blinked at him and looked around. "This is not my ship."

"No. No, it's not. Thor, where did Sam go?" Daniel joined Jack in standing and with Teal'c, the three of them approached the confused Asgard.

Maybourne sat back down at the head of the table, his hand covering that of one of his scared wives.

"It appears we have a situation, O'Neill. I believe Colonel Carter has been transported aboard the Daniel Jackson."

Daniel shifted uncomfortably at the use of his name, sensing Maybourne's curious gaze on his back.

"And why would she be aboard your ship when you're.. not?"

"Because my ship is no longer under my control, O'Neill. It has been acting strangely for some time now. However I did not know the cause until just prior to my arrival here."

"Has your ship been compromised, Thor? Are the replicators responsible -"

Thor cut Teal'c off mid-sentence, his gaze shifting to the Jaffa briefly before moving back to Jack. He looked more than confused now, Jack thought, in fact he looked positively embarrassed. "What is it, Thor? Why'd your ship kidnap Carter?"

"It was not just my ship, O'Neill. It was you."

"Me? In case you've failed to notice, Thor, I'm right here. Carter isn't."

"I did not mean you personally, O'Neill. I was referring to my ship's computer."

"That.. makes no sense. You named your computer after me?"

"No, Jack, I don't think he did." Daniel took a step forward, putting himself in between the Asgard and the increasingly irate General. "You're talking about Jack's mind, right? When you.. merged.. the ship's computer with Jack's brain when he was frozen by the Ancients?"

"That is correct, Daniel Jackson. My ship has not behaved normally since then. I have repeatedly found it ignoring my orders and returning to Earth's orbit. I did not realise why until I checked the logs and realised there was an almost constant surveillance underway of the members of SG1."

"Your ship's been spying on us?"

"No. It has been monitoring you." Thor turned his gaze back to Jack. "You must understand, O'Neill, it is in effect you. Surely you would want to make sure your friends were well if you could not be with them?"

'Good point,' Jack thought, casting his mind back to what he went through every time SG1 stepped through the Stargate without him. "But I'm human, Thor. I'm me. Your ship's computer -"

"Is you also. It is capable of the same thoughts and feelings." Thor stared at him, his posture strangely defensive. "If it were not for the fact an element of your mind still exists aboard my vessel, Colonel Carter would be dead."

"Then we owe the Daniel Jackson our gratitude."

"Actually, Teal'c, we owe the Jack O'Neill aboard the Daniel Jackson our gratitude."

"Daniel?"

"What?"

"Shut up." Jack stared at Thor through narrowed eyes. "Why'd it take Carter again now? Why leave you here and take her instead?"

Thor blinked. Again. "I do not know, O'Neill. I was trying to confront it when I found myself here."

"You were trying to confront it?"

"I received a summons to the Asgard homeworld. The ship would not comply. It was then I realised the cause of the problems I have been experiencing and demanded that it show itself to me. A holographic form of O'Neill appeared and transported me here."

The sound of chuckling distracted the members of SG1 from pushing the subject further. They turned to look in the direction it came from only to find Maybourne grinning wildly.

"What's so funny, Maybourne?"

"Isn't it obvious, Jack?" Maybourne's grin widened as he stood. "You have competition, my friend."

"Competition?"

"The ship." Daniel answered before Maybourne could, grimacing. If Sam hadn't disappeared again it would be been amusing. "The ship has Sam."

"Yes, I know that, Daniel. What's your point?"

"The point is that the computer aboard the Daniel Jackson shares your thoughts and feelings, O'Neill. Meaning that it stands to reason that the ship may share your affection for Colonel Carter."

Jack opened his mouth. Closed it again. Ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. Competition in the form of a computer.. based on himself. Great. "Oy."

* * *

"Okay. This is.. not what I was expecting." Sam turned around in a full circle, her gaze taking in the familiar surroundings of the Asgard control centre. "Thor? Anybody? Hello?"

Creepy. It was very, very creepy.

"Hi Carter. You're looking better."

Scratch that. It was insane.

The hologram flickered but kept grinning at her. Waited for her to respond.

"Hi."

He took a step forward, walking through a console.

She took a step back and found herself crashing into a wall. "Ow."

"Careful." The concern in his eyes softened the recrimination in his voice. "You don't want to hurt yourself again. It was touch and go for a while healing you and I really don't want to have to do that again."

"You healed me?"

He took another step forward. She took a side step away.

"It's me, Carter. I'm not going to hurt you."

"With all due respect, you're not who you look like."

"I am who I look like. Okay, so maybe he's a General and I'm still a Colonel but I'm still him. Kind of." He stopped advancing forward, reached a hand out to her. "I can't hurt you, Carter. I can't even touch you."

The sad way in which he said it had her moving forward even before she realised she'd left the guarded position of keeping her back to the wall.

"I don't understand how you're here."

"Didn't they tell you? Thor had my mind blend with the ship's computer when I – he – the real me – was a frozen Popsicle."

"I know that but you were supposed to be transferred back into him when he was.. defrosted, for want of a better term."

The Jack O'Neill in front of her shrugged and put his holographic hands in his holographic pockets. "Yeah. I know. Didn't work so well. Think of it like a copy and paste instead of a cut and paste, the original file was left on the hard drive as well as a new one being created on the floppy. Ah. Disc. Compact disc."

A small smile had the corners of her mouth twitching upwards. "Since when do you know that much about computers?"

"Since I became one, I think. It's actually kind of cool. I've learnt a lot about the Asgard – more than I really want to know to be honest – and I've been able to stay a part of it, SG1, in a way." He gave her a knowing look. "So how'd you like the cabin?"

Uncomfortable with the thought he'd been watching her – them – Sam's smile faded slightly. "It's.. nice. Very peaceful."

"Always knew you'd like it." The grin on his face died a little, too. "I'm sorry about Dad, Carter. I would've helped but there was nothing I could do. Plus Thor was starting to get suspicious so I had to keep a low profile.."

"That's okay. Thanks." Finding the whole conversation to be a little too strange for her liking, Sam tried to change the subject. "So where is Thor? You haven't confined him to another part of the ship, have you?"

"Nooo. Not exactly."

"What did you do?"

He looked at the floor, at the ceiling. Anywhere but at her.

"Sir?"

"Jack."

"Okay. Jack. What did you do with Thor? I don't believe he'd entrust his entire ship to you, even if you are part of it."

"I.. The little guy needed a vacation. A break. So.."

"So what?"

"So I transported him down to Maybourne's planet. How is Harry, anyway? Is it true he has half a dozen wives?"

"More like over a dozen but that can wait. Are you telling me you beamed Thor off his own ship?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Jack shrugged and grinned boyishly. "Self-preservation?"

"You can't do that."

"I can. I did."

"Well undo it." She rolled her eyes, letting her hands rest on her hips. "This is Thor's ship, Sir. You can't beam him off it because you think he might delete your program."

"Why not?" He looked at her and pouted. Actually pouted.

"Because you can't." She fought to keep her expression stern and folded her arms over her chest. "Bring him back. Now."

"He'll delete me."

"I doubt it. Thor is actually quite fond of you and if he'd known you existed in the first place, he'd probably have welcomed the company." She didn't know if what she was saying was true or not but then again, she was having a very big problem believing any of what was happening to her was real.

"Promise you won't let him delete me?"

And there was the puppy-eyes look. The one she was getting more and more familiar with the more time she spent with him – his human counterpart – outside of the SGC. One that usually put in an appearance when The Simpsons was mentioned in relation to what they could watch on TV.

"I promise.." A flash of light. Thor, Jack, Daniel, Teal'c and a woman she vaguely recognised appeared. ".. I'll fight for your cause. Hey. Hi." She lifted a hand in a small wave and raised an eyebrow at the littler of the two aliens aboard the ship. "Thor. Nice to see you again."

"It is nice to see you, too, Colonel Carter. Please accept my apologies for any inconvenience you may have been caused as a result of this oversight."

The holographic Jack shot her a look.

"You're apologising for saving my life, Thor, so it's unnecessary." She looked from Jack to holographic Jack and shook her head when she noticed the two of them sizing one another up.

She recalled an encounter in the past that had resulted in Jack – human Jack – wrestling with his robotic counterpart. As amused as she'd been at the time, she didn't want to know what kind of trouble the two Jack O'Neill's in front of her could get up to. One would probably find himself beamed to Antarctica – sans clothing – and the other would find himself on the wrong side of the Asgard equivalent to a delete key.

"You're dead. I saw you die."

The declaration distracted her from intervening. She turned slightly, stared at the woman staring back at her incredulously.

"Captain Brooks."

"This is the human responsible for the attempt on your life, Colonel Carter?" Teal'c took a step closer to the captain, who instinctively flinched and took a step back.

"Oh, she's one of them." The holographic Jack gave the woman an unpleasant grin.

"You!" Captain Brooks glanced between the two Jack's, glanced at the Jaffa advancing on her. "What are you? What did you do with Jeffery?"

The real Jack stared at his holographic self with raised eyebrows. "What did you do with Tarrant?"

The hologram shrugged. "He's cooling down. Thinking about what he did, that kind of thing. I'll return him to Earth in time for the court martial I'm sure you'll start arranging as soon as you get back there."

"I'd kind of like to see him beforehand if it's all the same to you. Just to make sure he's.. breathing."

The hologram scowled. "Do you really thing I'd kill him? I'm you. Shouldn't you know me as well as you know yourself?"

"That's why I'm asking. I know you. I know what you're capable of." Jack moved deliberately, placing himself between Sam and the holographic image of himself. "Where's Tarrant?"

"I believe I can answer that, O'Neill." Thor spoke up from the console he'd moved to stand beside. "I have detected a faint life sign aboard the ship." The Asgard looked up and stared unblinkingly at his ships personified form. "I believe the correct human term would be to say that he is on ice."

Sam caught the meaning first. "On ice?" She stared at the little grey alien and the hologram in turn, more amazed by the satisfaction on the latter's face and the approval in the formers voice than by what was said. "Please tell me that doesn't mean you've frozen the guy."

"Not quite frozen." The hologram shimmered and grinned. "Like I said, he's just cooling down. Rethinking his little plan. I'll thaw him out for the trial. Promise."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this." Sam glared at the hologram, including the original in it when she caught sight of the smug playing about his lips. "Are we absolutely sure this isn't an alternate reality? Or maybe I'm still asleep in the middle of a field on Maybourne's planet just having the weirdest dream of my life."

No one said anything.

Daniel and Teal'c just looked on in bewilderment. Jack and Jack resumed the oh so important task of sizing one another up and Thor went back to watching Captain Brooks disdainfully.

"Okay. No one answer me." Sam's glare shifted to include them all. "Thor. Could you please transport us all back to the SGC? Send Brooks to a holding cell and Tarrant to the infirmary. Teal'c, would you please go with Tarrant until the General can dispatch a security team?"

"As you wish, Colonel Carter."

"Hey! Who's the General around here?" Jack snapped out of his staring contest and gave her a mock glare. "Honestly, I get no respect."

"You'd get more respect if you weren't glaring at yourself." She shot him a pointed stare and crossed her arms again. "Feel free to jump in anytime here."

"Okay. Thor, do what she said with two exceptions. Leave Carter and me here. We need to discuss what's going to happen to him."

"I understand, O'Neill."

Daniel, Teal'c and Brooks vanished. Jack turned to face Sam only to find her staring at him expectantly. "What?"

"We don't have any say in what happens to him. You. He's Thor's responsibility."

"Hey, you said you'd put in a good word for me.."

"And I will, but stay out of this." Sam gave the hologram Jack a look and returned her attention to the flesh and blood Jack.

"You're sticking up for him?"

"He saved my life."

"Yeah, and I'm grateful for that but.."

"He's you. You can't expect me to stand by and let you delete yourself."

Jack stared at her, a small grin breaking through the confused expression. "Do you have any idea how weird that is to hear?"

"Almost as weird as it is to say, I'm sure." Sam returned the smile, took a small step forward and tentatively let her hand rest on his arm. "If he was a version of me, would you be so quick to order it deleted?"

"No," he admitted grudgingly. He glanced over her shoulder and noticed with surprise the slightly jealous look to the hologram's eyes. "But he's a security risk.."

"He's the computer aboard an Asgard ship and he knows the risks as well as you do." Sam tilted her head, looked at the hologram to find him looking away. "I'm sure if somehow this ship was compromised he'd chose to erase his own program instead of let anyone who could use it against us get hold of what he knows."

"Neither myself or my ship will allow anyone to use the information we possess against your world, O'Neill. You have my word."

Jack turned expectantly to the hologram.

The hologram stared back. "What? Oh, right. Yeah. We'll take the information to our deaths. Or deletion, in my case."

Jack opened his mouth to comment but closed it when Sam gave his arm a quick squeeze. He looked down on her, saw the intention on her face and sighed quietly. "Thor, would you mind coming to the SGC with me to make sure Tarrant can be revived?"

"Of course, O'Neill."

Thor ran a hand over the console and the two of the disappeared.

"Subtle."

"Yeah." She looked at him – looked through him – and smiled softly. "Thank you, for what you did."

"You're welcome. I'd say anytime but I really don't think Thor's gonna let me get away with it again. He's already running some sort of program to restrict my control and I can't really blame him. It's gotta be embarrassing to be a commander of the fleet only to have your ship to do what it wants."

Sam's smile grew slightly strained. "At least you'll still be alive," she pointed out quietly.

The hologram snorted. "This isn't alive. This is something else."

"It's got to be better than the alternative otherwise you wouldn't have been so worried about them deleting you." She winced slightly at the harshness of her tone. Smiled apologetically when he arched an eyebrow. "It must be hard for you. To be you but know he's out there living your life."

"Yeah. It's definitely strange."

He shrugged his shoulders casually, flickered when she took a step closer and stared in surprise.

Sam held her hand out, palm upwards, and waited. Slowly, cautiously, he moved his hand so it came to rest slightly above hers, hovering so that they didn't touch.

They couldn't touch and he didn't want to shatter the illusion.

"Thank you for looking out for me, for all of us."

"Always, Carter. Always."

She gave him a sad smile and withdrew her hand. He let his fall heavily to his sides – as heavily as they could given that they weren't really there. And then he let her go, sent her home without him and waited for Thor to return.

* * *

"So how does it feel to be able to count aliens and their ships among your many admirers, Carter? Oh, and Maybourne, can't forget him. Gotta say it's impressive."

"Careful. You almost sound jealous." Sam let her head rest against his shoulder, her attention wandering from the episode of The Simpsons he'd insisted she just had to see.

"Almost," Jack agreed cheerfully, allowing the antics of Homer and his family draw his mind away from reality.

Sam sighed softly, her eyes sliding shut. She tried and failed to her mind circling back to recent events and resigned herself to another sleepless night.

"Something wrong?"

"Just thinking about Captain Brooks and Major Tarrant."

Jack shifted, jostling her head so she sat up reluctantly even as his hand moved so his fingers could join with hers. "It's not your problem, Carter. They're being dealt with, that's all you need to know."

"I know. I just feel sorry for them."

His expression hardened, the episode forgotten. "They tried to kill you - very nearly did."

She sighed again and swung her feet to the floor, untangling their fingers so she could reach for her boots. It was getting late, anyway, and neither of them were ready for her to actually spend the night. Besides, she thought that might be pushing their luck as far as the approval they'd been given to progress their relationship was concerned.

Their superiors expected them to be discreet and to keep from completely flouting the regulations that had been bent for them. After all they were looking for a replacement and when that happened..

.. Well, maybe then she wouldn't feel so guilty about being there alone with him when Brooks and Tarrant were currently sitting in separate cells awaiting trial.

"I know but that doesn't stop me from being able to sympathise with them. I might not agree with their methods, but their cause.. Let's just say it's one I can believe in."

He moved as she finished fastening her boots, pushing himself up and holding a hand out to help her to her feet. "I agree with their cause but not their methods." He walked her to the door but kept hold of her hand when she went to open it and slip outside. "You sure you want to go? I know you haven't been sleeping."

A slight blush spread over her cheeks as she smiled softly. "I don't think I'd get much sleep if I stayed, either, and you know we're not ready for that." She stepped closer, leaned up to brush her lips against his cheek. "Good night, Jack."

"Call me when you get home." His voice followed her down the path towards her car and she waved in acknowledgement without looking back.

She'd call him, just like she'd called him every night since it had happened.

Just like one of her friends – sometimes all of them – walked her to her car every night.

It wasn't necessary. Sweet and touching, yes, but she didn't need their protection. She didn't need them acting like mother hens. For one thing it was a one off, an event that wasn't likely to happen again. For another she was perfectly safe, more than aware that she had friends in high albeit strange places making sure she was okay.

* * *

To be continued in Beautiful Intensions by Fairygnomes


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